Friday, May 9, 2008
Just a Thought
Lately, I have felt a renewed sense of hope. For a long time I was so caught up in the quagmire that had become my life that I could not see a way out of my current existence. But, I am happy to report that I have turned a corner. I feel more hopeful about things. I guess I had lost my hopes and dreams a long time ago without even realizing it. I don’t know why exactly. They say that without hope we have nothing. Although, I didn’t exactly have nothing, I certainly didn’t see a future bright. I saw it stretching endlessly before me with nothing to look forward to. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that there will be nothing in life but sunshine and rainbows, I do believe now that I will have a life. I won’t live vicariously through my children. I believe that I will have experiences that are mine and not just an extension of something that I am doing for them. I have lived a long time with only their needs foremost in my mind. Which I know that is my job as a parent. But, this is my only life. Do I not deserve to be happy and fulfilled as well? Do we, when we become parents give up our right for happiness?
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2 comments:
im not sure we "deserve" to be happy and fulfilled. although, i hope we are. :)
i also dont think we give up "rights" to happiness when we become parents, but we do permanently sign on to living much more for others than if we werent parents.
i think maybe that real happiness and fulfillment come undeservedly, not as a right, and with service to children and others as a heavy component.
I would argue happiness should come from within. "If only ______ ..." Holds a lot of people back from happiness. We can't wait for the "if only's" to happen in order to be happy. We have to make the best of the situation we are in and find our own happiness. Every time an "if only" is satisfied there is another one waiting in the wings. It never ends.
As Robert M. Pirsig said, "the only Zen you can find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there."
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