Not Always Pretty on the Inside

Emotions are Not Always Pretty. I am the first to admit that I don’t take kindly to change. That is unfortunate as the world and everything in it is continually changing. I somewhere along the line became quite resistant to change and that has been detrimental to my well being. It’s hard to move onto the unknown that is coupled with change most times. Living in fear of the unknown has kept my mentally, and physically in a place that isn’t healthy.

Also, I have found that I have been plagued by feelings of indecisiveness for a long time. Something as simple as ordering off a menu can be a time consuming process. I think that these emotions are probably indicative of deeper issues. I am hoping with some self-realization and introspection I can determine where these emotions stem from. Perhaps some therapy is in order…or maybe just copious amounts of anti-psychotics.

I hope that I experience a metamorphous. I hope that my life for the last several years has been me…in a cocoon healing and learning from the trauma that occurred in my life and past mistakes. I think that I have a better idea of what I want to accomplish, and the person that I want to be. Now, just bring those thoughts and ideas to fruition…

Weirdness

Ever had someone rub you the wrong way? I have a co-worker who doesn’t really do anything wrong….but she annoys the hell out of me. There is something about her that I can’t really put my finger on…but it’s off. She has a sing-song way of talking, ending every word with a little lilt at the end, first of all that makes me want to slap her. Secondly, she says shit like…..”I’m approaching you” as if I am skittish and need to be forewarned when someone is walking in my direction. Then there is the whole thing where she acts like she has this intimate secret with you when she is talking about something to do with work…she sidles up and low talks in my ear…and gives me a wink….it’s completely awkward. It’s not a sexual thing…just a weird thing. I can’t explain it…because basically she seems benign enough. Just one of those things I suppose.

Greener Grass

I have had the opportunity to see how the other half lives recently.

I have been house-sitting for my boss, who also happens to own the company. He has quite the nice existence. He isn’t obscenely wealthy…but he is way more than comfortable. He owns 3 homes..one in which he lives, a vacation home at the beach and a rental.

I would say that the house he lives in is probably 3-4 times the size of my home. That doesn’t even include the rec room or the garage. The house is surrounded by trees and is situated on 3 levels. It comes complete with 4 bedrooms and 4 full baths (the master bath has a Jacuzzi tub w/ bay window, separate shower, his and her sinks blah blah blah) formal living room, eat in kitchen, formal dining, foyer, family room, office and laundry room. The master suite is probably around 500 square feet or a bit bigger and it includes the office and the master bath and sitting area and walk-in closet. There are numerous sliders and doors that exit out to the deck that surrounds the entire property. The formal living room has a fireplace and is large enough to hold two grand pianos (yes two..a black one and a white one) sofa, love seat, a couple of chairs and a coffee table with plenty of room to move around. There is a large kitchen with island that leads to the formal dining room and the family room (which has an additional fireplace) On the second level is the rec room that holds the pool table, exercise equipment and a couple of couches, small fridge etc…it is about 400 square feet. The next level has the pool and Jacuzzi and ping pong table. There are 4 different sets of stairs leading to the different levels and an outside shower for the pool.

My family has been there for 4 days and will remain there for another week. We have been treating it like a staycation (stay at home/vacation) when I am off work. Soaking in the Jacuzzi, playing pool, ping pong or hide and seek in the dark. It’s not Paris…but it beats the hell out of the ghetto where I live.
Life is just easier with money. Hell, life is just easier in a house rather than an apartment. Just not having to go outside to a nasty common laundry room to do the laundry is a lovely concept.


I could get used to that life real quick.


But, I won’t.

Ego Auto

I wonder if BMW dealers have some sort of prerequisite list that sellers must agree to before purchasing their cars….such as:

Must be willing to weave in and out of traffic in hopes of gaining a 1.3 second lead on all other cars. (only to be stopped at the same traffic light as said cars).

Must be willing to tail gate all drivers in your way (see #1.

Must be willing to have random bursts of speed and short stops (see #1.

Must act like they are superior to other drivers and have a “My shit doesn’t stink” attitude.

Must be willing to run red traffic lights.

Must insist on turning left on a late yellow/red light, even if it means blocking the intersection and inconveniencing several other drivers.

I’m just sayin’