What an Obnoxious Emotion

This was a weekend chock full of feelings of inadequacy. I would say that I have those feelings on most days…but it was magnified this weekend. I just had instance upon instance of the feeling that I don’t measure up and I don’t fit in. I try to not compare myself to others…really I do. There are days though that try as I might, I just can’t help it.

C'Mon!!

Although, I don't think that these two need introductions....Here are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on some red carpet event somewhere.



It should be criminal for two people to possess so many of the 'God really loves me' genes.

Audit-Kiss Me Arse

As a financial institution of sorts, my company is subject to internal annual audits and Department of Corporation surprise audits every 18 months are so. We just recently recovered from our internal audit and are currently being subjected to the DOC audit. These procedures usually drag on for a month or so. They consist of the auditor taking over the entire conference room and continually asking for this and that or wanting an explanation of this or that. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times we have had to have a single file pulled from storage because the auditor cannot get it together and have a list of files that they need. It is such a piecemeal operation. I understand that this is just part of the job, yet that doesn’t prevent the intense desire I have to throttle the auditor.

It's Only May for Crying Out Loud

It was 96 degrees here today. That is a wee bit out of my comfort zone. Okay, my true comfort zone would be about 20 degrees lower. I personally cannot stand the heat. It makes me downright cranky. I managed okay today though. I even had to walk home after dropping off my car to get my brakes done and then back to pick it up in the hottest part of the day. There was a breeze, albeit a very warm breeze, but a breeze nonetheless…so it was bearable. I currently have my fan on high right up to the end of my bed facing on me. It hasn't cooled down nearly enough and I don't enjoy sweating while I sleep. Mental note...buy a better fan for my room. Tomorrow it is supposed to be up over 100 degrees.

Not. Good. Times.

Music vs. The Savage Beast

Music is a lovely thing. It can transport me to a different place or conjure up memories of times gone by. That can be either a blessing or a curse depending on the particular memory. Some songs are so soulful, so poignant that they induce an ache, a yearning felt deep within without any memory attached at all. Or perhaps it brings forth emotions, dreams or desires I had forgotten about.

Just a Thought

Lately, I have felt a renewed sense of hope. For a long time I was so caught up in the quagmire that had become my life that I could not see a way out of my current existence. But, I am happy to report that I have turned a corner. I feel more hopeful about things. I guess I had lost my hopes and dreams a long time ago without even realizing it. I don’t know why exactly. They say that without hope we have nothing. Although, I didn’t exactly have nothing, I certainly didn’t see a future bright. I saw it stretching endlessly before me with nothing to look forward to. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that there will be nothing in life but sunshine and rainbows, I do believe now that I will have a life. I won’t live vicariously through my children. I believe that I will have experiences that are mine and not just an extension of something that I am doing for them. I have lived a long time with only their needs foremost in my mind. Which I know that is my job as a parent. But, this is my only life. Do I not deserve to be happy and fulfilled as well? Do we, when we become parents give up our right for happiness?

Ay! Caramba

I just had to share. I was on this particular type of medication for a couple of rowdy years months. I experienced some...nay many of the side effects.

To Dream

I fell in love today. Granted it was with an actor and everyone knows that Hollywood relationships don’t last. But, I trust this one will last just as long as I want it to. I watched a movie with Mark Ruffalo today called ‘My Life Without Me’. An indie filmed chronicling the last two months of a 23 year old woman’s life. Mark played a role that catapulted him from someone who I thought was adorable to my current husband. Sigh. I just wished that he wasn’t on location so much so that we could have some more ‘us’ time.

A Day in the Life...

The chatter around the office today has been kind of dull. A co-worker missed the latest episode of Lost (which I haven’t even seen one episode…I swear….I am not in the loop around here with tv shows. I am always the one going…no, I don’t watch that show…different strokes I suppose-did you see how I put the name of a tv show in there? Witty, huh?) Another co-worker went to the dentist to have some crowns replaced. Okay, I thought that I was the only one with horror stories from the dentist, but this sounds awful. They couldn’t get him numb for whatever reason. However, they proceeded to work on him. They tried for 2 yes 2 hours to wrestle the existing crowns off his teeth. Sawing, prying, using dental pliers..etc. My theory is this..if they are that difficult to remove, then maybe they don’t need replacing in the first place. But, what do I know. I didn’t let him finish telling me the story because I have a crown or two in my mouth and I don’t want to know about all that can go wrong with replacing them. I have a tendency to obsess and that is one bridge (see...a dental reference...I am on my game today!!) I would prefer to cross when the time comes.

Better Late.....

Okay, I know that this is quite late...but I had to put up quick video of our very first Halloween party spread that we threw last year. I cannot wait until this year! Yeah, Baby!!

Idle Hands

Gotta love washable markers. Good entertainment for your money!!

Cryptic for a Reason

Sometimes, life plays out in a way that is both shocking and yet not. Recently, I came across a bit of very useful information about someone that I know. This information evoked many emotions in me. Some of which were shock, disgust, elation and hope for a better future. Now, I know you may wonder how one bit of information could possibly have caused my emotions to run the gamut. The thing is, in this particular scenario there were three players involved. Well, actually two and one very innocent bystander. Without divulging too much information I will say that as far as the innocent bystander who was hurt in this scenario, I hope that this person has fully recovered and won’t remember a thing. The main player was unfortunately quite well known to me, and I hope that this person rots in hell gets their just desserts. As for the third player, I am unfamiliar with this person and can relate just a very little bit, although I think that someone should open a can o’ whoop ass and literally beat some sense into this person the punishment should fit the crime.

I have filed this information away and will apply it down the road in a future battle that I will be going through. Sometimes, just sometimes the universe gives me a little break.

Not By the Hair of My Chiny Chin Chin

I am sure that we have all seen our share of interesting people in cars. There’s the usual.

Like....

The nose picker

The make-up artist

The mom teetering on the edge of sanity with a van full of kids that have either missed nap time, are hungry or someone is looking at them that shouldn’t be.

Then there is my all time favorite the ‘important’ one who has their ear glued to the phone.

I have even seen the same man on two different occasions on my way to work shaving. Up until now, I would have to say that was the most unusual.

All of those before today fell to the wayside.

Let me paint a picture.

Black BMW (that in and of itself is a whole other post)

Approximate age…..early to mid 50’s.

Bleached Blond

Fake Bake Tan
Long talons nails
Every piece of jewelry she owns A whole lotta gold

I am sitting there, just trying to maintain my sanity as I sit in the endless traffic on my way to my less than fulfilling job. While waiting 30 3 minutes at a traffic light, I will sometimes take a gander at the mankind that surrounds me. I like to imagine their lives and wonder why they feel the need to drive like utter morons. I digress. Well, on this particular morning, as I glanced to my right I saw the blond.

She was…..

Wait for it…..

Patience grasshopper, it's really good…………………………

PLUCKING HER CHIN HAIRS!

Santa Maria!! Yes sir folks, plucking them with tweezers right there for the whole world to see. What is even more amazing is that she was doing it without even looking, just randomly going at her chin with the tweezers. She continued to do this after the light changed, cruising right along doing her grooming. Try as I might I was unable to get a picture of her. You have to know I was scrambling to get my phone out of my purse to get a shot. Unfortunately, that was the only light we were ever at together and she exited the expressway shortly after.

If or when the time comes that I must deal with chin hairs, it is my oath to the world, I will take care of that in the privacy of my own home.